Sangam Playhouse






Interview with Murugesh Sreekumar

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Television show theme music.

A:
Good evening and welcome to “Heart to Heart”. Tonight I have with me in the studio the acclaimed serial killer Murugesh Sreekumar. Murugesh, welcome to the show.

B:
Thank you Siddharth, it’s a pleasure to be here.

A:
Murugesh, let me start by congratulating you on your latest work, which has been described by some as “the shocking and pointlessly messy stabbing of a man who was waiting at a bus stop”.

B:
Thank you.

A:
So what inspired you to this particular work?

B:
I get asked this a lot, Siddharth, and it’s a hard question to answer. You know, the whole point of being a serial killer is, in some sense, that I don’t have an answer to the question – why?

A:
I see what you mean. And yet perhaps you could help our viewers understand the workings of your mind. Perhaps you could take us through what happened, so that, even if we don’t understand the reasons behind your actions, we can attempt to grasp just how they come into being.

B:
Sure. I was walking down the road and I saw this guy, he must have been in his mid-30s, and he was standing at a bus stop, waiting for a bus. So I stabbed him and then I stabbed him and then I stabbed him and then I stabbed him.

A:
Ah I see, I think we’re beginning to get somewhere. But perhaps you could describe for me the moment before you stabbed him.

B:
Before I stabbed him?

A:
Yes, just before you stabbed him.

B:
I was standing in front of him, not stabbing him. And then I stabbed him.

A:
Fascinating, fascinating, Murugesh. And, I don’t mean to return to the question of why again and again, but do you think something might have triggered it? Was he, perhaps, for instance, wearing a particularly ugly shirt?

B:
No.

A:
Did he smell bad?

B:
No.

A:
Did he remind you of someone you hate?

B:
No.

A:
Was he one of those people with those irritating faces that all of us at some point in our lives have wanted to stab?

B:
No.

A:
I see. And could you describe the knife you used for me, the uhm, instrument of your work as it were.

B:
Oh one of those standard Victorinox army knives, you know them?

A:
That little red thing?

B:
They’re surprisingly effective, Siddarth. Actually it was quite funny. I went up to him and flipped it open and drove it into him and nothing happened at first.So I tried again and again but he remained alive. So I looked at it and that’s when I realised that I was trying to stab him with the bottle opener implement.

A:
The bottle opener?

B:
The bottle opener.

A:
Hahahahahahaha! That’s…oh that’s absolutely priceless. Thank you for sharing that little nugget with us, Murugesh. Perils of the job, eh?

B:
You could say that.

A:
Hahahaha. Ha. Ha. Ha…

B:
So anyway when I realised what I was doing I was like (slaps his own forehead). Then I opened the blade and stabbed him properly. But of course he had run away by then so I had to chase for a good ten minutes before I was close enough to him to stab.

A:
He ran away?

B:
They do that sometimes. People are much less supportive of my work than you might think.

A:
I didn’t know that.

B:
You know people think being a serial killer is just a matter of the killing. But victims aren’t always willing to be killed. Quite often I find I have to run after them and catch them before I can kill them. So sometimes I just disable them in some way first, say by smashing them on the head with a stone so that they fall down. Then I can kill them more easily.

A:
What about your last work?

B:
The last one, what was it… shooting the man reading a book in a cafe, right?

A:
No, I believe it was strangling the woman listening to her iPod in a cafe.

B:
Ah yes, sorry. The one before that was shooting the man reading a book, and that was in a restaurant, not a cafe.

A:
Correct.

B:
I get the specific details mixed up sometimes.

A:
It’s understandable. You’re very prolific. So, strangling the woman.

B:
Yes.

A:
This is a bit of an obvious question, I suppose, but did you miss the blood?

B:
The blood?

A:
You know, most of your killings, whether they are shootings, or beatings or bludgeonings, they result in a lot of blood. Did you miss that in this case? You know did you miss that distinctive bright red colour that blood has?

B:
That’s a good question. And you know if I had thought about it, I probably would have missed it. But the thing is, I don’t really force any particular method when I’m working, you know? I just sort of exist in the moment and let myself be guided, almost. And in that case as I passed the woman I didn’t have anything sharp or heavy, so I just did what felt right in that moment, and used my hands to squeeze her neck till she died.

A:
People have compared you to Picasso.

B:
Oh please, that’s a meaningless comparison. Picasso was a painter, I am a serial killer. Plus, Picasso was paid for his work, whereas I do my work for the sheer love of it.

A:
But critics have said, in your sheer range and your mastery over so many methods…

B:
No please, let me clear this up once and for all. Picasso used paints which he applied onto a canvas to create paintings. I kill people. These are two different things, let’s be very clear on that. You cannot compare me and Picasso. It would be like comparing… Beethoven and Mozart.

A:
The two European composers?

B:
Exactly. The two totally different European composers.

A:
I see. Let me ask you now about your childhood now, Murugesh. When did you first realise that you wanted to be a serial killer?

B:
I think I must have been about nine or ten, and I was playing run and catch at home with a friend of mine, I think his name was Ashwin Gundapalli. And we were running around the house and I chased him into the balcony, where I caught him and I pushed him over the edge of the balcony and he fell seven floors down. I think that’s when the passion for serial killing was really born in me, you know, though it was too early for me to think about things like my career etc. But somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

A:
Fascinating. And how did your parents react?

B:
Oh, badly. When they saw what I’d done to my friend, they said, this boy’s going to become a serial killer. You know, they wanted me to become a doctor or an engineer. And of course, being conventional, middle-class parents they tried every trick in the book to get me off the path I was headed down.

A:
What did they do?

B:
They sent me to a very strict boarding school where for years I had a good morals and ethics drilled into me.

A:
Such as?

B:
(disgusted) Oh such as everything. Don’t throw litter on the ground. Don’t lie. Don’t steal. Respect women. And of course, the most difficult, don’t kill people.

A:
That must have been a difficult time.

B:
Oh I can’t tell you Siddharth. It was traumatic. I actually came out of that school a good human being, with ideas ingrained in my head of fairness and justice.

A:
It’s shocking what the school system does to the free thinking individual.

B:
But I was determined and slowly, painstakingly, I unlearnt everything that had planted in my mind. I couldn’t of course start off with killing, because I had been forced to believe that it was wrong. So I started simply, by just shouting at people.

A:
Shouting at people?

B:
Yes, as I passed them on the road, I would yell abuses at them. Like, “Hey fucker!” or “Stupid bastard!” Then I moved onto hitting them for no reason and running away.

A:
You started off as a serial hitter?

B:
You could say that. I’m not embarrassed to admit it, it was a part of my journey.

A:
I understand.

B:
Then finally some months later, I was ready, and I killed my first real killing.

A:
The now legendary “old woman sleeping on a park bench”.

B:
Yes.

A:
The first in what people later described as your “people sleeping on park benches” period. Which many consider your most creative and your most productive phase, in fact.

B:
That’s one point of view, but I don’t really agree. You know, quantity and quality are two different things. I mean, yes I was killing at least one person a week in those early days. But just because I’ve slowed down, doesn’t mean my recent killings are any less significant. If anything, the impulse behind them is much more pure and refined.

A:
Your methods certainly have evolved over the years.

B:
Exactly. Nowadays I take my time, I don’t just run in, stab, and finish it off. Usually I strike up a conversation, find out the person’s name, chat for a few minutes and then kill them. That way I can say a deadly line, like, for example, “Now you must die, Mahesh!”

A:
If their name is Mahesh.

B:
Oh, their name is Mahesh. Their name is definitely Mahesh.

A:
I see.

B:
Not only that. In an earlier stabbing I might have run up to someone, quickly stabbed them fatally and gotten it over with. But now I am much more careful. I take my time and make sure they suffer as much as possible. You know, after all, it’s not everyday that a person gets to be a serial killer’s victim, so I think of it as my responsibility to make sure that the rare time it does happen should be as special and memorable as possible.

A:
That’s a great insight, Murugesh. Now I wonder if you’d like to share any details with us about your upcoming killings.

B:
Ah, no, no. I never do that. Partly because I myself don’t know until just before it happens. And partly because I like to surprise people, you see? Keep them guessing. Will it be a poisoning? A garrotting? A decapitation? And I also don’t like to give clues about who it will be. For all you know it could be you!

A:
Hahahaaha…. really?

B:
It could be.

A:
Why me?

B:
I’m just saying.

A:
Please don’t kill me.

B:
Hahaha… one should never plan too much in life.

A:
We’re almost out of time, Murugesh. Quickly, any words of advice for aspiring serial killers out there?

B:
Well don’t get into the field for the money. There isn’t much. Do it because you love doing it. And don’t start too big. Begin by killing a cat or a small dog. Then move on to killing old people in hospitals who are going to die anyway, you know? Then babies. This is key. I always advise people who come to me to spend a lot of time on killing babies. Kill lots and lots of babies in as many
different ways as possible. Smash them, throw them, poke them, kick them. At some point you’ll feel that it’s become too easy,that you need more of a challenge. That, according to me, is when you’re ready to go out into the world and be a good, effective serial killer, and not just any other murderer.

A:
Inspiring words from a master. One last question, Murugesh. Any plans for more ambitious projects in the future?

B:
Well right now I’m enjoying the work I’m doing. But who knows, maybe in a few years I’ll try my hand at mass murder. And from there, if it feels right, I might even go for some genocide.

A:
Wow, I’m sure all our viewers are waiting eagerly to see what the future holds. Good luck with your future work, Murugesh, and we hope to have you back on Heart to Heart soon.

B:
Thank you, Siddharth.

Television show theme music.






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